Life as a child

Walking down the hall to the apartment door I hear the loud music in the adult laughter.

School was hard it was stressful but I know you don’t want to hear about it so I say my day was fine so you don’t complain about me taking up your time.

Off to my room with homework I don’t understand no one to help me and I can’t concentrate anyway music too loud talking even louder I cover my ears and wish for something better.

soon all the kids will Pile in better hide the things I don’t want anyone to see I Scrambled to my feet hiding my things.

Back to wishing I had some one else’s life I play Barbies that’s my Escape I can give them the life that I want I can live through them until the loud noise from the living room brings me back to reality again.

I sit looking out of my bedroom window I watch the cars go by the planes take off in the sky. I wish that one of them would come take me to a New Life.

I have no one it’s just me I want to be a good kid so I sit alone so quietly.

The door flies open the sun went down here comes the neighborhood clowns. Got to put a smile on my face I roll my eyes and begin to play.

I want it to be bedtime so everyone will go away and I can get back to what I want life to be.

The only thing I fear about bedtime is will there be a fight will mom get mad will Dad be home? Will there be yelling and screaming things being thrown? will the music be loud will I get any sleep will I get to go to school tomorrow or will they be too sick to wake me?

I’m a kid why do I have to think about things like this?

dinner time comes its that nasty hotdish again it is so dry even the water won’t help it go down I’d rather go to bed hungry and be in trouble for not eating this crap. They yell and scream at me for not eating what was put in front of me I take the verbal lashing and go to my room.

Ready for bed we all pile into our room sisters being mean and brother is being bad.

All I want is my stuffed animals they are all I have they are my safe Zone.

Music laughing screaming all coming from the living room the bathroom light on and off as it shines into our room.

I lay awake listening to it all staring at the ceiling I fall asleep. Only to be scared awake by my parent’s domesticating yelling screaming now the three of us are in the hallway beer bottles smashed in the kitchen entryway, things being thrown by both parents no one notices the three kids standing and staring watching this all go down from the hallway.

I turn around and go back into my bed my siblings follow me and my sister says here we go again.

Hours go by Sounds of Silence creeping in sleep yes I snuggle into my bed only to be woke up again.

I’m tired and dazed it’s time to go to school. I hope to myself that after last night they take tonight to recover, I would like silence even if it’s for one night. My child mine needs to recover so it’s ready for the next time.